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Originally posted by slapper
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.........bloody well said mate........
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Guys I will sort out the rest once my head gets better. I`m just struggling at the moment to process information in the way I would like to pass it on and will NOT sell my comrades and civilian friends who died short, hope you understand. I have to be completely clear, and that might be a bit of a problem...I have got to the bit I dont actually want to remember and have actively suppressed for all these years. It really feckin hurts and I have tears in my eyes, but I dont want to spout melodramatic sh1t as it would sully the memory of those who cant reply and that would be worse. I know I am not the only one to have this problem and thank you all for your words, but the only person who can tell it is me and I ask you for a wee bit of patience...how can this hit me like a ton of bricks after 29 years? I have honestly been ok for such a long time, maybe I`m just going mad.
This is my edit and I am truly sorry for not being able to finish it all at the same time, but as some of you know, if it has been dormant and not even my wife of 27 years (married you buggers not age! although we can all dream.) knows the detail then it was well deep. I apologise in advance for any "inappropriateness" in my post, but I am for the first time in 29 years in the "same place" at the moment and couldn`t really care too much.
Outside, having had 1 pint of the DWs finest English lager and some mince and tatties, I had never felt so ****ed in my life. Maybe it was something to do with the Bang, Blast, Bogs and a fair helping of smack to the head, but I didn`t really have much of a clue what was going on as the last I can remember is the guys trying to kick "Sweaty" out through the hole....I am not proud to admit, but I was glad she rushed to the front as I only had thoughts of a secondary attack and could picture an IRA LMG/GPMG set up for the escape route (I know it was the INLA, but a bomb is after all a bomb).
There was a soldier who was there and trying his best to sort the sh1t out, I think he may have been Cheshire Regt, and had obviously been in the bomb but a big measure of respect to him who shouted "For Fecks sake, you are supposed to be fecking soldiers, this is what we are trained for so get your b4stard arses back in there and get those poor feckers out!"....apart from the fact that I had never actually been trained to complete a "human jigsaw" I automatically went back in (must be the training) and started picking up "bits"......this may I add, is long before the QRF or Bob Stewart ever managed to get out of their pits despite their protestations!
I know that timelines are for geeks and maybe I am so, but when I read about Bob Stewarts personal account (which can be found at http://www.londonderrysentinel.co.uk...city_1_2102129) I ask how he could comment when he got there at least 45 mins later, or is he using it to political effect?.....I will ramble some more later....Last edited by Guest; 21-11-2011, 05:18 AM.Comment
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Here I am to bug you again....
Okay, so we got out of it.
I suppose we were near the front of the building beside the steps and could have run away like the cowards who bombed the place, and used an excuse (and probably a legitimate one)....but out we stepped into the quietest place on earth that night. There were only as far as I know, about 20 people who got out before me and by now one guy as I described before had actually taken charge as a young man of about 23 or 24 and probably a Cpl or "should have been".
There was nothing. Stillness and calm is the only way that I can describe the aftermath.
I have read Taffs account in Kens book and although I have a few disagreements, it is in the main the truth.....but it took a while for the support to arrive.
I would love for anyone there that night to get in touch and make the 30th anniversary something special....in the well with all our families!
Bean.Comment
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Believe it or not mate, you are doing the right thing putting it down on "paper" so to speak so's that others can read about it. All of us here are aware of what happened, but not in too much detail, so as well as getting it off your chest, it is also helping others understand how things were that night. There have been others who have written about that tragedy, but as you know, people see things through there own eyes so there are bound to be differences. It's a human thing.
Don't be put off if you find that not many members are commenting on what you have written. It is not lack of interest I can assure you, but the fact that they would feel ill-equipped to comment on something like this. But I can assure you that everyone is reading it.You cannot fight a war with one hand tied behind your back.Comment
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It's people's memories Bean, I noticed several things that weren't quite right in Ken's first book because that's how people remember things in their own mind, over the years as I opened up to others they put me right on what I remembered, strange thing the mind... It also spurred me on to make my own small contributions to the books and no doubt somebody is sitting somewhere reading them thinking, "that's not how I remember it...". That's the great thing about sharing experiences and ensuring what we did isn't airbrushed out of history.Originally posted by Bean View PostVisit tree 49/189 @ the NMA and say hello.Comment
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Bean, you have written your experience of that awful night as you saw it and how it was for you. It is imprinted on your mind and it must be confusing, even conflicting, to read the words of others who might be relating things in the same way as you but from their viewpoint, but seemingly differing in detail or timings.
As for those who have become experienced at telling a story 'their way'...well, that is for them to live with.
I respect your being able to put it on here, it must have been difficult to write if, while writing, it served to bring pictures back as fresh as ever. But it's part of dealing, and that is a life-long process.
Sometimes it's hard to know how to respond to such a heartfelt account; so, like Jock said, don't be put off by the lack of response. Be assured that we are reading, and can understand how you feel.
Keep it coming mate, if it suits you to do so.Comment
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Hear hear.
Be who you are and say what you feel...
Because those that matter, don't mind.
And those that mind, don't matter!Comment
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I never intended to say that Taffs account wasn`t "kosher" or "halal" as we must now cater for all kinds. He was absolutely right in what he said and if I ever get the chance to meet him I will have to hug him cos I know we shared something that cannot be explained.
In my day (FFS I sound old now) but racism and mixed marriages in the west of Scotland were all about Catholic / Protestant, not Black, yellow, or any other colour by which we choose to describe ourselves by......I say that word "ourselves" because that is what we are....Black, white, yellow........we are on the same planet, we all want the same things, we will settle for less if need be, please just dont kill our children!
I am now a grand dad to 2 perfectly brilliant little cherubs......my wife loves me (unless the bitch has been lying in which case I will deal with her later), my children adore me for being the mad b4stard I am and my grandchildren just tolerate me cos I let them pick their nose without telling them off........I have a lot to live for, so I thank you for giving me the time of day by reading my ramblings and tolerating it, I would love to get together with some of the people who went through that night just to allow the ghosts to rest in peace.
Another edit:
I will be in the newly renamed "well" on the 6th of December 2012 at 2315 (30th anniversary) thinking of my friends and colleagues with my whole family, and I will be paying for them to make the trip as it is that important to me.....are there any of you out there who will be interested in a survivors party to help me explain it to them?
b34n@yahoo.co.uk
I will make the booking and all the arrangements cos it means a lot to me, cheers guys, you make me feel better by just talking, but I havent unloaded the whole lot yet!!!
Bean.Last edited by Guest; 05-12-2011, 02:53 AM.Comment
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guys as ever I am suffering today....here is my latest FB post, it is so fecking wrong but just felt right if you understand?
29 years ago today, the Irish National Liberation Army decided that it would be a good idea to bomb a certain pub.
Politics of the time aside, I, as an 18 year old soldier was faced with the challenge of "human jigsaws"....which arm/leg goes with which body as they were laid on the grass bank, never mind the heads, and that is NOT intended to be witty by any stroke of my silly mind.
I did manage to get one particular girl out, she was 21 years old and way out of my league but we can all dream! I loaded her into the ambulance with half of her body missing knowing that she would probably never make it, sadly she didnt.
I was covered in her blood from head to waist, but there were others who needed help and it amazes me to this day, how we all kept going. There was no panic, there was no disgust or puking at the sights that evening held for us, we just got on with it.
There were funny moments amongst the carnage, and I jest you not when you put a girls head on a blokes body it lightens the mood....and if that were to happen today I would be shocked, but that night it just seemed ok.
I am writing this for those who never escaped that night, not the dead, but the living for whom this is an annual tribulation!
Sorry to those of you who dont really bother but it might strike a chord with a few of my mates......Comment
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I am, at this moment writing a letter to a certain Mrs Cooke. I have never met the lady, and probably I never will, but it is important for me to tell her what her daughter said to me that evening. I of course, couldnt be arsed with words that night, there were people dying after all and I didnt have time for all that sh1t.
For 29 years I have struggled with the words that brave young girl said to me, she was by far the bravest person I knew that night. She was 21, beautiful (ask anyone) and bright as a button when it came to squaddie "put-downs". She was as I have stated elsewhere, way above me in the food chain but there she was with her insides out for want of a better expression.
She simply said to me "Paul, tell my mummy I love her".......thats why I have to tell Mrs Cooke her daughters last words to me!!
Bean
......now dry your eyes you sad lot........live with it as I do.
The fact that she called me Paul made me cry that evening!Comment
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I'm sure she'll be grateful to hear those words mate, I hope you are able to get in touch with her.Comment
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A day for the start of my nightmares to begin again 6/12/1982. 29 years ago i lost 4 mates that night and had to identify one
L/CPL Steven Bagshaw 1 cheshire. It was supposed to be a night of celebration, on the completion of the junior NCO's cadre and promotion to L/CPL for three lads , Clinton( joe ) Collins ,Steven Bagshaw ( Baggy) and Dave Stitt.
i Had left 10 min before it happened and was walking up to the pads, as my wife was over and staying at a mates pad.
when we heard the collapse and ran back, the site still haunts me. we worked all night it was awfull.Comment
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R.I.P.
You cannot fight a war with one hand tied behind your back.Comment
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I was in the Droppin Well that night on 6th December 1982 and remember the night so well, it still haunts me even after 29 years. I have not posted on here before but felt the need tonight. I was one of the lucky ones, protected from the blast and collapse of the ceiling by a pillar on the dance floor, although I was buried for many hours that pillar kept me alive. I don't know who my rescuers were so cannot thank them personally, but I do thank them from the bottom of my heart, without their bravery, courage and dedication to duty I would not be alive now.
I know many died that night, but their names and memories live on in all of us survivors, I want to pay my respects to Corporal Dave Salthouse - Light Infantry, he was a lovely, kind man, a true and proffesional soldier, but above all he was a true friend and one I miss terribly. To all the civilians and other soldiers whom I didn't know but whom so sadly lost thier lives, you will never be forgotten.
It's so ironic, that night was my first night out in Northern Ireland, working in Derry but living on the airfield right at the bottom of the camp we didn't get out much.......and I had promised my then fiance' that I would be a good boy and not go out, maybe I should have stuck to that promise....things might not have been so bad....lol.
Anyway I am waffling on - I hope to maybe get over next year to the Memorial Service, will take some courage to do it but it might help to bury some of the horrible memories, I'll see how it goes.
Once again - We will remember them.
Cpl S.D. Prime (R.A.O.C).Comment
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This thread has stirred many emotions in all of us, and has prompted at least two chaps to post here who have not posted before.
May I say to them that the day we have together at the NMA in September is a good place to meet and share.
The Ulster Ash Grove ceremony, followed by a walk among the trees can go a long way towards easing pain and regrets.
It can also bring back unwanted memories, but you will be among friends who KNOW.Comment
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